Our 2nd Annual 2023 NFL Sensationally Sardonic (Mock) Draft

2023 NFL draft

1. Panthers: QB Bryce Young, Alabama
Greg:
 Yes, he’s short. But in today’s NFL, if I am a GM I’m never drafting a QB that isn’t mobile and can’t extend plays and create. I love Stroud also but just think Bryce edges him out – one of the most translatable stats from college to pro for QBs are their numbers under pressure and Bryce is much better than anybody in the class there.

2. Texans:  QB CJ Stroud, Ohio State
David: I do not love this for the Texans. I would probably draft Jalen Carter and go for a QB at pick 12. I asked a few Houston fans and one beat writer, and they all said, Stroud. So I am taking CJ.

3. Cardinals: DT Jalen Carter, UGA
Greg: Arizona should trade down and they may, but I don’t think the market to trade down is as great as most think. Just take the best player in this draft.

4. Colts: QB Anthony Richardson, Florida
David: He has a wide range of outcomes, but at 20 years old, his talent is hard to pass on. Richardson is very raw but, has a huge arm, and unbelievable athleticism. If given the time, and coaching, his ceiling is higher than any other QB in this draft. His floor is also one of the lowest.

5. Seahawks: EDGE Will Anderson, Alabama
Greg: Seattle needs defense and just take Will here.

6. Lions: CB Christian Gonzalez, Oregon
David: The debate about which corner is better has been answered by the Lions as they select Gonzalez over Witherspoon. Christian is patient, never rattled, and exudes an awareness and understanding of the game that allows him to anticipate routes and rarely gets beat. You can put him on the opposing team’s best receiver week in and week out by setting it and forgetting it.
Greg: Ok, David took my guy… it’s on.

7. Raiders: EDGE Nolan Smith, UGA
Greg: This will make Eagles fans mad, including me, but Nolan should go high. He could have gone higher than 7 actually and he is the player I am probably most “sure” on in this class. I’ve written so much about him no need to include any more here.

8. Falcons: OT Broderick Jones, UGA
David: This will not be the most popular pick, but it is the right pick. He is another player who is considered to be raw but has the elite traits to build upon that could make him a 10-year mainstay on the O-line for the Falcons.

9. Bears: OT Anton Harrison, Oklahoma
Greg: They need a RT more than a LT but they just need somebody on the line and Anton could be the best pro tackle in this class. Any team with a young QB I am going to surround with talent, either line or weapons.

10. Eagles: EDGE Tyree Wilson, Texas Tech
David: Why is he such a great pick for the Eagles? See below.

11. Titans: WR Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Ohio State
Greg: I hate this pick for JSN’s sake, TEN is a mess and will need to find a QB so Jaxon could be relegated to an awful situation through a lot of his contract. But give Malik or whomever another weapon. David loves JSN as well so taking one of his guys is a bonus.

12. Texans: CB Devon Witherspoon, Illinois
David: The second corner off the board plays a brand of football that should excite Houston. He is always around the ball, energetic, and willing to bring pain. He has cover skills like a DB, but brings blows onto ball carriers like a linebacker.

13. Packers: WR Zay Flowers, Boston College
David: The Jordan Love begins in Green Bay and he needs a receiver to grow with. Enter Zay Flowers. With his breakaway speed and route fakes, he should be seen doing the Lambeau leap on highlight reels for years to come.
Greg: Nothing better than once Rodgers leaves, the Packers actually take a receiver in the 1st round.

14. Patriots: OT Dawand Jones, Ohio State
Greg: Massive with better mobility than most give him, he won’t be a popular pick for New England but I am higher on him than most.

15. Jets: OT/OG Peter Skoronski, Northwestern
Greg: The Jets need everything on the line so regardless of if Skoronski is a OG (which I believe) or an OT, he has a place to play. And given he is pretty ready to play day one, he can help protect their new old QB.

16. Commanders: CB Deonte Banks, Maryland
David: Washington is in desperate need of a corner, and they finally get their man to contend with the likes of AJ Brown, DeVonta Smith, Cee Dee Lamb, etc in the WR heavy NFC East.

17. Steelers:  OT Darnell Wright, Tennessee
Greg: Could have have CB but don’t love who is left with David taking Deonte right before me. Invest around your young QB.

18. Lions: EDGE Felix Anudike-Uzomah, Kansas St
Greg: I’m higher on Felix than consensus, but he is one of only a few in this class with a top pressure and run stop rate. Detroit getting Gonzalez and now Felix absolutely upgrades their defense.

19. Buccaneers:  RB Bijan Robinson, Texas
Greg: I’m against taking RBs high, but 3 reasons. First, TB is a mess, needs to blow everything up, and won’t be interesting so Bijan could be the one thing that makes them watchable. Second, David loves Bijan and I take another one of his guys. And third, I don’t like TB so will give them a pick that doesn’t make sense long-term.

20. Seahawks:  CB Emmanuel Forbes, Miss State
David: While undersized, Forbes is the best in class in creating turnovers, and in scoring. If he was not so light (168 lbs) he would not be at pick 20. You can gain weight, but you can’t teach instincts, Seattle is smart enough to know that too.

21. Chargers:  OT Paris Johnson Jr, Ohio St
David: It’s ridiculous he was still here at pick 21. Paris can come in and start at guard from day one, or develop into your long-term tackle. He is ready for battle right away and brings much needed protection to their franchise QB.

22. Ravens:  WR Quentin Johnston, TCU
Greg: A higher bust probability pick and they just signed OBJ, but he’s coming off ACL. Their WR room beyond OBJ is is Bateman who has not stayed healthy and Devin Duvernay. I see Quentin’s issues but I like him more than most.

23. Vikings: WR Jordan Addison, USC
David: At 5’11 170lbs, some might say he can’t play certain spots, but the Vikings take the best receiver left that can create space and get open. His speed will be a problem, and playing alongside Justin Jefferson will only help him. I can remember a certain team passing a receiver thought to only be able to play certain spots. Ugh. It’s ironic that the player the Eagles took ahead of JJ is on the Vikings, and that their new draft pick could spell the end of his time in Minnesota.

24. Jaguars: CB Joey Porter Jr, Penn St
David: The Jags need a corner and the highly adaptable JPJ falls right into their lap. Rated as one of the top 5 corners in the draft, he has shown an ability to stay with receivers in any break they make. He should solidify an already good defense.

25. Giants:  LB Jack Campbell, Iowa
David: One of the highest RAS scores of all time, Jack has a high floor and a high ceiling. The Giants love a great LB, and he will cause havoc in the NFC East for years. Pencil him in as a 3 down back and watch him disrupt the passing game and swallow up rushers for the next decade.

26. Cowboys:  TE Darnell Washington, UGA
Greg: As an Eagles fan, I would hate to see Dallas take Darnell. So he’s the pick.
David: That’s just mean.
Greg: What’s also mean is he’s a third guy that I know David (and I) love. What good are dueling mocks if you don’t snipe your friend?

27. Bills: WR Marvin Mims, Oklahoma
Greg: Nobody will agree with Mims here but it’s my pick. Set a reminder on this for a year or two out and I bet Mims is a way better pro than several of the WRs taken ahead of him. This class is full of old and undersized WRs which both have really bad histories in the NFL.

28. Bengals: DT Mazi Smith, Michigan
Greg: They have the luxury to just take a good player. They could use more depth on the interior.

29. Saints:  DT Calijah Kancey, Pitt
David: The Saints are shocked to see someone they had in the top ten of their board fall all the way down to 29. The room high-fives one another and feels a lot better about being fleeced out of pick ten by the Eagles.

30. Eagles: CB Julius Brents, Kansas St
Greg: Brents wasn’t my first choice but the OTs, both Darnells, and any receiver worth taking here are all gone. But CB is still a position to invest in and Brents gives the Eagles their future at corner.

31. Chiefs: OT Jaelyn Duncan, Maryland
David: With the receivers that Andy wanted long gone, he sticks to his core belief of building from the trenches and selects a team captain who is extremely quick, as athletic as any 306 lb that you can find, and checks off every box that Andy looks for in a tackle.
Greg: We joke all the time about player age and how much David loves the old guys. Keeping count, that is four old guys David has drafted (Tyree, Zay, JPJ, and Duncan).


It’s been another great draft season and we appreciate everybody for the continued engagement and reads. Let us know which picks you love or hate.

Fly Eagles fly!